lydie:

"l...checking your messages while walking to your familiar spot under the trees...as you know 'I have my what would Lydia do in this case moments 'and that's when I hear you and" a woman wrote that on your facebook and i liked all of errors, i believe her
ask me about the boots
talk to you about american idol even though i don't watch it

coffee in a cardboard cup
and that weird model from

remember when you were carpentarsdream? i never understood the misspelling or the reference, we could chat online about frivolous stuff. we had the luxury of such casual communication, of getting up from our desks and coming back, watching tv, chatting with others, knowing that the other would be there to respond whenever. whatif i had recordings of your laughter on the phone. your laugh traveled WELL that way. it was a beautiful thing.
i regret my lifelong discomfort with the phone, but am relieved to remember that as much as i tried to get off the phone with you, you kept me. what the hell were we talking about? i can't remember everything. ridiculously, i remember talking about American Idol, the first season it was on TV.
i wear your makeup and the motorcycle boots you gave me, and your deodorant. the loss of you has taught me that life can really suck, it's fundamentally not easy in a way I didn't know about.