Friday, October 22, 2010

shakti


Faith spent a lot of our dance class crying in a bathroom but when she came back she started doing this amazing improvisation. She was doing a swaying walk in her black onesie outfit, the fabric was gathered in elastic at the waist and made her romantic and round on the hips. her legs overcrossed and she was tip-toeing and moving fast and sweetly, i let out a little laugh because i was happy and relieved. She was laughing with the other dancer; moving had extricated her from her mood (pervasive, unshakeable, Faithmood) for a little while.

Shakti is her secret name and I only ever call her that in my thoughts. I catch myself mentally calling her Shakti every day but it's never once slipped out. It's a weird thing to be stuck in my head, since it's not as though I ever hear anyone calling her that.

She and I embraced a long time after class and she said "I really love you so much, you are such a good friend to me" and I thought about how good it feels to take care of her even though she is impossible. She'd never said it so plainly before. I really love her too.

Dreams To Remember

what does this song mean? he has dreams of being with her to remember, to fight for in spite of seeing her with another guy? or he has bigger dreams, things he lived for before she came along ("girl you just satisfy me"-- just she ONLY satisfy and not exceed, like when doing all the requirements for a term paper will earn you a C?)

the fade out: "i've got dreams-- rough dreams! bad dreams!" -- throws me for more loops. the title is just such a big position to stake, and then it goes out in every direction.

when i was listening to otis redding and falling asleep on the g train i could see myself slithering, a slow dance that could be performed lying on a rug as well as standing. a dance in the pelvis and including all of the surfaces of my body, which have changed in texture since the last time i was listening this hard to this music, when i was "only sixteen"